Speak Up and Listen…

I am not nor ever have been afraid to admit that I have  “issues”. Quite honestly you would too, anyone would. There are many like me who come from what we do and instead of dismissing them, please help them be the amazing contributors to our world instead of dismissing or judging. From what I do know of my family we are a very long line of people with genetic predispositions to mental health issues like bipolar and depression.Many of these were lifestyle related too so be sure to eat your veggies, healthy fats, protein and take time to relax and to exercise ;). We are also a long line of people who come from serious dysfunctional upbringings and who as I can speak of, have for a long time attracted that same dysfunction (don’t you dare ever call me or treat me like a victim bc I am NOT since I have not been defeated). You might see this pattern in your life too if you come from it because when you don’t know anything else, you tend to accept that that is what it is (but I promise you if you come from something similar, it really doesn’t have to be that way). I recognised these things about me a long time ago and made the choice to break THAT pattern of allowing the dysfunction to have complete control of my destiny and am still learning about it and about accepting the right people in my circle. This I believe is one of the many reasons why I am SO unbelievably passionate about helping people and REALLY listening to them no matter what age, circumstance or how far fetched it may seem. When I get my book written, you will know more about MY how’s and why’s but for now this is what you get ;). I have struggled with just about every “issue” one could think of from depression, panic attacks, anxiety, addictions, OCD and what is deemed as being “personality disorders” (or was told these things because it was convenient for them or easier) that I believe is to be due to circumstances inflicted upon me and the fact that I did miss a LOT of steps in the “normal” growth and advancement stages of life. Yes a small part of it is my conditions were likely genetic as the patterns are there throughout, but the real cause is the situations and the fuc%ing shi$$y people I have had in my life this is why I don’t believe that dishing out drugs is the answer. I am never one to point the finger unless it is legit, trust me I own more things than I probably should and a lot of people do and you really shouldn’t it is NOT your fault. The ownership of many things needs to change and we also need to be more vocal about our own stories to help others see what they might not see so they will seek out help and to keep hope alive. People treating people like they are crazy, useless, damaged, broken or fragile and pitying them or telling them that they can just “stop” doing what they do or feeling what feel is something that needs to change too.  A lot of people with what society’s stigma might deem as “issues” are actually often very in tune with themselves and that something is off and what many do know what they NEED but just don’t know how to get help. these people are oftenwere afraid to be judged too and like it will be some kind of scar on them and their ability to succeed in life. Many aren’t in tune too and  I recognise that, but for those such as myself who are, people seriously need to LISTEN! Don’t put what YOU think is right for me (or someone else who flat out tells you what they like or dislike, need or don’t need) how I should act, react if I choose to, how I should be or behave, when I tell you what it is that I need. Advice might be meant well but often times just listening is enough and it really doesn’t help when that advice comes from not knowing the whole person or situation. Just telling takes away a person’s power, often makes them run away from you and is often an insult like they don’t know their own selves. Helping guide people to see things like behaviours and patterns or guiding them to the right people is much more effective as well as just yourself being a positive, fun person. This is why I read as many empowering, self-help books and one liner positive quotes and why I watch so many “reminder” videos and comedy stuff (omg I love to laugh and love to make others smile too!!). This is also why I share them :).  I have known of these things since as far back as I can remember and I fall and struggle just like you probably do too and that is okay. I have suffered A LOT in a variety of ways and I say this because if you feel you need to share a story with someone who might be able to “get it” or want to hear some of mine in the meantime to help you feel that hope, know that I suffered and still suffer sometimes now too but it passes and life really is AMAZING and beautiful :). I was diagnosed with those above conditions throughout my life this was not something I made up (that comment comes from somewhere yes) as I had to go through so much shit with people just constantly putting me on a variety of medications instead of helping get to the root it and listening to me when I said things. I have never been afraid to look at my past, and you shouldn’t either because it made you the amazing person you are today.  I have spent too much time letting my past rule me though because it is such a challenge but over my years have gotten to the root of a lot of things by reaching out, continuously reading, researching and boy have I learned a lot about me and about people in general. I remember having to miss almost a month of school because my panic attacks were so bad that I couldn’t even leave my bed let alone the house. I was in to so many specialists and doctors explaining that I couldn’t breath, that I felt like I was going to die, that I would feel “tremors” and no one else around me would and they all blew me off and said I had “issues” and it was just in my head . This I guess was back before they even knew what panic attacks were but seriously I was a kid give your head a shake! Being in 3rd grade banging my head against a cement post hoping for someone to just pay attention and listen and try to help. Being in such dark hopeless places that I was sent to the hospital. Believe me I have come a VERY long way because I did seek help and still do.  I started studying psychological issues and natural therapies like meditation from an early age because I grew up around so much of it and knew that with me, there were issues too because of my life. I also wanted to be able to help others and myself by finding alternative ways to treat and/or manage these issues besides drugs and will continue sharing my stories of things I weamazingnt through through my home life, social life and school life. This is yet another story about how exercise and nutritious food helped me and is my new addiction over the ones I used to have.  Yes I can get carried away with that too and that is not necessarily the best thing for you or me or anyone either…balance really is key and I do struggle with this and some other issues still I know :).  I have been in and out of a variety of psychiatrists, psychologists and counsellors my whole life, even now and will keep searching because it is importamazingant to find YOUR right fit because masking the symptom with drugs is not the answer in my opinion unless all else fails or you are at immediate risk. Something else that you need to understand is that if you do suffer from any of the above conditions you will always have triggers (losing a job or a loved one, arguments with teachers, friends etc., a lot of change in the home or in your social life, financial issues etc.) and that most likely your condition will never really go away. You simply learn new behaviours and skills to manage it and most importantly be sure that while yes, you have to accept some crap in your life is inevitable, you need to have a larger amount of supportive and good people around you. Don’t be afraid to reach out and to find them or come find me here online and I will help guide you to find the help you need. Here is one particular great place to reach out to in Canada if
you are a kid, a teen or young adult or are an adult looking to spread the word to your own or those around you who might feel hopeless, are being bullied and made fun of, or like no one is listening or feel things are just too much: http://www.kidshelpphone.ca/teens/home/splash.aspx

There are always people listening and it may be or feel hard to get what YOU need or are looking for but please don’t stop looking and speaking and reaching out until you find it. It is hard, I DO understand that but please never give up because you deserve to live the life of your dreams! Btw, because for some reason I always feel like I have to have a goal or purpose for things, the purpose of this post is to not only help others to know they aren’t alone but also to make people take a look at themselves too and how they treat people. Nobody is perfect but please look at your actions and behaviours and make changes because, as I say so much in my posts:p, we are all in this together.

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