Well, well, well, I suppose I have officially sucked it up now as I am posting a “progress” picture to help me be accountable. Now don’t get me wrong, I train or do some kind of activity EVERY day and for the majority, eat a healthful diet, but over the past couple of months I have decided to be kind to myself for a while and just let myself BE. You know, like enjoy some things in life wooooh! I also have different goals in my life right now and far too many things that need priority right now than being overly compulsive about every bite, every rep, every heart beat. What do I mean by this? I can be somewhat of an obsessive hardcore-ist of things. Trust me, a look has nothing to do with how much you train and your diet when you hit a certain level. It can be much more complex than this, but than again, I am always learning too 😉 Just my personality and something that I have to be very mindful of and work on every day 🙂 I have just been eating without tracking and also allowing myself a few more lighter days of work and here is where I am at:
The point of this post, if I really need one lol, is just a sort of cathartic release and state of healing for me, as well as to let those of you out there who might think fitness people are perfect all the time, are really not. This is a real picture, no editing, I mean hell, look at my ‘do ahaha! I don’t really show up as super lean and jacked anyways but that is because for me, I either have not yet mastered the art of single digit body fat percentages while still being able to “perform”, oh and doing it without ahem, “assistance” lol or my body just doesn’t want to go there again. Besides, I want to feel good and am still trying to find exactly where I, not anyone else, wants my body to be at.
Now really there is nothing wrong with this but I know I could be better, even on my every day body. I am not trying to look like some super lean and jacked chick because for me, that is not a healthy place to be and that’s totally cool. I want to promote health and being, feeling awesome and just happy not obsessive about diet and training. I AM somewhat obsessive about training but for ME, I sort of HAVE to be. You will understand soon enough. I have decided to post this picture because I am a bit “uncomfortable” right now and have been a bit too lackadaisical with my intake and I need to, no I want to, smarten up. I don’t have a competition coming up, although I actually wish I did :p but I like to always be ready. Ready for what you ask? A zombie apocalypse, a hot date wink wink nudge nudge and of course, because I feel it is an important part in trying to be a role model. I love being smaller, faster and nimble and that is my goal. I am combining triple digit lift days and some aesthetic-lift days as well as sport, dance and weird shit I like to do but if I don’t be more diligent with my diet, my body tends to go to a place I would prefer it not to be. Again, this is for ME and I do want to be smaller, tighter and fast as fu%k (speed kills wooooh).
My strength days are a bit more of power days with it all being more explosive now. Because I am already a highly sympathetic dominant person, I do need to be careful and also need to let go of my ego and my need to always prove it in the gym by killing it. I have gotten back to embracing more ohm shit and lighter work. Totally ok. I have also dropped the BS wagon of limiting my carbs too much. Since I started competing I fell into the trap even though I ate them like a mutha and was always healthy, functional and a pretty consistent size :p Whatever! You do dumb stuff and you learn so you can teach others so no regrets but I still have a hard time with finding MY balance. Training, nutrition, health, life…it is all a journey and I am learning to embrace that again. We are ALL on a journey of some sort. There will be ups. There will be downs. There will be times when things are just meh and that is ok. No one is perfect. There is no such thing. There is only progress. Sometimes priorities in your life will change and your training or nutrition might be more of a 3 times per week or 4 meals eaten out vs 6 days of training and 1 day of eating out because of family or work obligations. Whatever it is in life that YOU want that makes YOU happy, go for it but be sure to know and to understand that that “thing” will never be as enjoyable as when your body (and mind!) is strong, fit and healthy. An image is nothing. It truly is about how you feel. I also want you all to know, understand and truly believe, that you don’t NEED to be in the gym 6-7 days per week for hours at a time and being obsessive calorie/macro counters to be healthy, fit and happy. You really truly don’t! People like me are a “special breed” lol. Hell you don’t even need a gym or a lot of money. There are endless possibilities to improving yourself, your health, your life and livelihood you just have to want it. Enjoy your journey and I am going to enjoy mine as I embark on a new phase. We come in all shapes and sizes and abilities and as much as I truly do embrace that in others, it is a journey for ME to embrace it now too 🙂 Everything in all of our lives is about progress, not an unattainable perfection, whatever that even means. Do not accept mediocrity, but be kind to yourself too 😉 Be well and kick ass! xox