Holy Chip These Are Amazing

Be an Elephant

A friend of mine, who on numerous occasions helps others with his knowledge bombs or otherwise, gave me some insight into a helpful tool. To repay him, I made him some cookies from one of my favourite and ever-so-appropriately-me sources, Thug Kitchen. I want you to be an elephant and never forget gratitude. I do not want you to become an elephant though by eating batches of these at a time unless it is after a serious series of weeks of training sessions of course!

*Weeks of training and appropriate eating matter otherwise that indulgence won’t be ‘used’ accordingly.*

I had a little help from a highly skilled little SHEro in baking these b*tches…seriously, I just love her and seriously that vulgarity fits the source of the recipe ;-D

Here is the recipe if you would care to make your own but I did change it up a bit and use half peanut butter and called it ‘Holy Chip These Are Amazing’ cookies, but I think everything requires our own sense of ‘flare’

Chocolate Chip and Almond Butter Cookies


  • 1.5 cups whole wheat pastry flour
  • 1/2 tsp baking soda
  • 1/2 tsp baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 2/3 cup chilled almond butter
    • Essential! Keep that shit in your fridge.
  • 1/3 cup brown sugar
  • 1/3 cup white sugar
  • 2 tbsp ground flaxseed
  • 3/4 cup almond milk
  • 1.5 tsp vanilla
  • However many chocolate chips you are feelin (1/2 to 2/3 a cup should do)

Sift together your dry ingredients in a separate bowl. By dry I mean the first four (flour, baking powder & soda, salt).

In a bigger bowl, mix the almond butter and sugars together until that shit is creamy and delicious looking. Add in the flaxseed, almond milk, and vanilla and mix it all up again.

Slowly add in the dry ingredients and mix it around until there’s no more dry spots. Do not over mix!! Rookie mistake.

Fold in your chocolate chips, cover everything up, and refrigerate for at least an hour (up to 2 days if you somehow forget about this delicious dough just hangin out).


Preheat that oven to 350.

Line yourself a baking sheet with some parchment paper. If you’re not doing this when making cookies, you are not living your best life. Trust.

Scoop out the dough to whatever size you are feelin and flatten them down a little to a nice size.

Bake these beautiful cookies for about 15-18 minutes, or until the bottoms are golden brown.

After you pull them out of the oven, let those bitches cool off and settle down on a wire rack for at least 10 min before trying to eat them.


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